This Year I Resolve Not to Make Resolutions!

Happy New Year! Starting a new year is a time of hope and promise, a chance to start anew! We get to reset, recharge and renew!

After completing a life review of the ended year, I usually set out with a long list of intentions for the coming year, filled with things I’d like to do better, change or add to my life. However, I often find that list tucked away, rarely, if ever, looked at throughout the year. Because of that, this year I have resolved not to make a list of resolutions, or even goals for the year ahead.

Having lunch with a friend yesterday, she began telling me about how she was going to be laser focused on her single goal for this year – wealth. Everything she did, or did not do, was going to be about increasing her personal wealth. As a woman, she felt it was important to change the patriarchal stereotype of “breadwinner,” especially in her family. She wanted to find her own autonomy.

It got me thinking, where will I put my focus this year?  Rather than a laundry list of resolutions, this new year I’m going to dedicate the entire year to a single theme. Would it be prosperity like my friend? Or better health and fitness levels? Was this the year I’d renovate my house? All seemed worthy, but didn’t resonate with me as the theme for my entire year’s focus.

As things so often happen in my life, my answer came in yoga class. As I wobbled and bobbled through several poses, I realized that my balance was a little off. The harder I tried, the worse it got. There’s a saying in yoga, “As you are on the mat equals how you are off the mat.” I felt unbalanced. By striving too hard, my life felt out of balance. Then my teacher said the magic words, “It gets easier when you find the balance between effort and ease.”

Find the Balance Between Effort and Ease. That simple phrase resonated so deeply, I’ve declared it my mantra for 2018.

Too much effort leaves me feeling depleted, spent and martyred. Too little effort, I feel lethargic, apathetic and disconnected. There seems beautiful symmetry when you put forth the required effort from a place of ease.

When we fight our way upstream to get our way, make others accept our viewpoints, or give of ourselves more than we receive, we are out of balance. When we sit back and expect all our dreams to be fulfilled without taking action, bend too easily in the wind or want others to take care of us, we are out of balance. Equilibrium comes when we adjust our efforts with ease and vice versa.

As I stopped struggling to balance in my yoga pose, I found my balance returned. I had added ease to my efforts.

From this place of finding balanced effort and ease, goal setting exercises and resolutions take on a new flavor. Rather than forcing something to change, or giving up altogether, goals are easier to achieve when kept in balance. Take for example, you resolve to lose the pesky extra pounds. You could begin to follow a strict diet and demonic exercise regimen to meet your goal, only to give up within days because the effort is too much. Or, you could resolve to adopt healthy eating overall and daily movement that fits your life. Doesn't that sound easier? Balanced effort and ease for the long haul. 

I think finding the balance between effort and ease will bring my life into a state of grace, and that is certainly my intention, goal and resolution for 2018.

Wishing you all a balanced and grace-filled new year!