Compassion

People are human. We are a messy, imperfect lot, aren’t we? Why is it that we can excuse, even love, our humanness in some, yet resent it vehemently in others? I sat down today to write about compassion, to explore how we can live with more compassionate. Frankly, compassion would be easy if we weren’t all so… human!

What does compassion mean to you? Does compassion equate to sympathy, empathy or commiseration? Perhaps, it means being charitable and altruistic to those in need and wanting to alleviate their suffering. Is compassion an act of goodwill, philanthropy or kind-heartedness? Of course, these are all acts of compassion, but I invite you to look a little deeper. What if we define compassion as love? True and unconditional love!

How can we be more compassionate? Especially to those we find annoying, hurtful or ridiculous? Can we find compassion for people we completely disagree with? Although it may be difficult, and require an effort on our part, I believe it is possible. I think we have an obligation to try.

True compassion means opening your heart. And opening our hearts feels like a risky business these days. We avoid being vulnerable at all costs. We shy away from openly expressing our love. We avoid difficult and honest conversations. We put on a stiff upper lip and carry on!

So why on earth would want or need to be compassionate to our fellow humans? Simply put, because we have had enough trauma, drama and pain. The world is full of hurting people, and it is long-past time to end the cycle of inflicting our wounds on everyone else just to make ourselves feel better. Now is the time to practice true compassion.

Let’s have compassion for stupid, mean and disappointing people, especially ourselves. I think we are most hurtful to ourselves. We are our own worst critics. We judge ourselves by a standard no one can meet. Can we learn to love ourselves even when we do not embody kindness, fail miserably, or react badly? There is a Buddhist saying that if compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.

Does being compassionate to someone mean acceptance of their behavior? Compassion is easy to feel for those we love, and for people who share our core values and common beliefs. But what about the guy who cuts you off in traffic, the lover who broke your heart, or the politician who betrays your country? What about the people who live in countries we have never visited, who look and act differently, seemingly threateningly so? I think these moments are perfect opportunities for our soul growth. We can always choose to wallow in our victimhood, rage at injustices and give in to our fears, or we can react differently, from a place of tolerance, forgiveness and even love. Choose wisely.

Compassion is not condescension. When we judge ourselves as being nobler or morally superior to others, no matter how charitable our behavior, it is not compassionate. When we separate ourselves from others, acts of goodwill ring hollow. True compassion comes without judgment, advantage or compensation.

We are all dealing with our issues. We all have our wounds to heal, karma to resolve and soul contracts to fulfill. None of us can possibly know what anyone else is going through, and it’s truly none of our business. What is our business is to heal our own wounds, resolve our karma, and discover and fulfill our soul contracts. When we chose to embody love and compassion in our lives, we lead by example. We become way-showers and leaders who contribute to a world of community, harmony and equality through compassion, rather than rallying around more fear, anger and hatred. Compassion starts with us, and there's no time like the present.

Here are three ways to be incorporate more compassion into your life.

Be kind. In the words of the Dalai Lama, “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”

Explore tolerance. Make a conscious effort to look at people with tolerant eyes. The best way to open your heart and mind to greater tolerance is to travel and explore our world and other cultures, learn more about other religions and spiritual practices, and vow to never stop learning.

Always remember, intention is everything. Embrace your humanness with compassion. We all have days when we are a little more human than we would like to be. It’s okay. Dust yourself off, forgive yourself and others, and move along. Set the intention to be more consciously compassionate every day. It won’t always be easy, but the rewards are beyond measure. You can never be too loving or too kind.

Come - Let’s build a more loving, compassionate world together!