Procrastination, the Thief of Time
I have stared at this blank page long enough, blaming writer’s block for my procrastination. It has been some time since I posted a blog article. I am not sure when I became a master of procrastination. Perhaps I have always been. I can recall drying painting samples with a hair dryer an hour before I was due at a client meeting. At my corporate job, the eleventh hour was the only time that mattered as the deadline was looming. Now that I no longer work outside my home, there are few deadlines, rarely an eleventh hour – I seemingly have all the time in the world. And therein lies the problem. When one has all the time in the world, you can usually find ways to fill it, and rarely with what truly needs to be done.
Why do we procrastinate? It takes a lot of energy to procrastinate. It is stressful to have to-do’s undone day after day. The things we put off occupy precious space in our minds, screaming “You Should…” at odd hours of the day or night, constantly nibbling away at our conscious and unconscious mind. Procrastination slowly chips away our self-esteem and sense of accomplishment.
Procrastination is an active process. We choose to do something else rather than what we know we need to be doing. We go through all sorts of mental contortions to justify dragging our heels, but the consequences always catch up to us eventually.
Procrastination fills our minds with unpleasant thoughts about our productivity and sense of worth. We call ourselves a slacker, indecisive, uncaring or lazy. We feel we lack self-control and are disorganized. We beat ourselves up for things we neglect. At the end of the day, we feel guilty and ashamed. We fret we won’t be able to meet deadlines and that we will lose all we have worked so hard to achieve. All the negative self-talk and worry is tedious to say the least.
It would be easier to just do what needs to be done. Rationally we know this, yet still we procrastinate.
Years ago, I read that procrastination is poorly disguised perfectionism. That made sense to me. If we never finish a project, no one can say it isn’t perfect but unfinished. And as an artist, if I never start to paint, compose or create, no one, including me, can say I am not any good. I came to realize that it was fear at the heart of my procrastination. Fear of judgment, fear of failure and yes, fear of success. Fear is a silly emotion when you face it full on, rarely having any basis in fact, yet can be completely paralyzing when allowed to run rampant.
Enthusiasm dampers without reward. We humans like immediate gratification, and tasks that postpone our reward will likely be put off for another day. Procrastination is often driven by the gap between what is required now and the promised reward in the future, if ever. And while we may need to focus on the end-game rather than the immediate future, the promise of giving ourselves a reward now helps sweeten the deal and re-motivates our enthusiasm to complete our work. Like the old horse, we all need a carrot on the stick to help encourage us to move forward.
Too much to do? Take it Bird by Bird. Often when there is more to do than is humanly possible, we don’t even know where to start. We procrastinate because we think we have been set up to fail, and it’s simply easier not to begin at all. Yet, when we organize the larger task into smaller bites, we find we can begin and it is indeed do-able. One of my favorite authors, Anne Lamott, addresses this in her book on writing entitled Bird by Bird:
“Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he’d had three months to write, which was due the next day. He was at the kitchen table, close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother’s shoulder, and said, ‘Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.’”
To do, or not to do, that is the question. As I became more focused on creating my life on my terms, “I don’t feel like it” or “I don’t want to” have become a common refrain. Redesigning my life into one of my own choices, I am actively letting go of things that no longer serve or resonate with me, as I add in new things that do. If you find your to-do list filled with busy-ness that truly does not need to be done, or activities no longer fit your life, rather than procrastinate, delegate, delete, or simply say no in the first place. Saying no to obligations that you do not want to do, or are not important to you, will eliminate the passive-aggressive tendency to procrastinate. It is hard to learn to say no, no thank you, with grace and no further explanation. We need to stop trying to be superheroes in anyone’s life but our own.
If not now, when? Let’s face it, there are always going to be things we don’t feel like doing, or actively avoid taking on due to the unpleasantness of the task. At some point, taxes must be filed, teeth polished and difficult topics discussed. Life cannot always be postponed until tomorrow. When I want to avoid an unpleasant task, I find it helpful ask myself, “If not now, when?” Oftentimes I find the answer is now, as there is no better time. Delay never makes things easier.
Rephrase your internal dialog from should’s and have to’s into choices. When we reframe a commitment from an obligation or duty into a choice, it suddenly becomes easier to accomplish. “I choose to do…” rather than “I should do this…” eliminates a lot of internal conflict. Our motivation becomes stronger when we actively choose how to spend our time.
Everyone puts things off until the last minute sometimes, but procrastinators chronically avoid difficult tasks and deliberately look for distractions. Procrastination is a thief of time, energy and self-esteem. You know when it has taken control of your life and needs to be addressed, so do not postpone, delay, avoid or procrastinate about changing this habit today.
“I could not forbear to reproach myself for having so long neglected what was unavoidably to be done, and of which every moment’s idleness increased the difficulty.” - Samuel Johnson
