Open Minds, the True Fountain of Youth
I saw a cartoon yesterday of two aliens, looking at a human couple in their living room. The caption read, “They’re not a bad species, until you mess with their food or their beliefs.”
Having spent years as a health coach, I can fully attest that messing around with someone’s diet was challenging. I was met with more excuses, denial and resistance than if I’d told them they should move to Siberia, alone.
One of the first questions I ask a client is, “Are you willing to do the work to heal?” Most people jump in and vehemently declare, “Oh Yes!” only to discover that in order to do so, they must change – their habits, thoughts, and beliefs. This is no small thing.
Just last week I had a discussion with my 90-year old father about drinking more water. He’s been having leg cramps, and I know drinking more than the few sips of water he drinks every day would help him feel better. My father is an amazing man, even at 90 he is the most intelligent, well-read and practical person I know. By career and personality, he will always be an engineer, methodical in thought, curious in intellect and solution oriented. But when I suggested he drink more water, he not only poo-pooed and dismissed the idea, he whined like I was trying to drown him. He was convinced there was no way he could drink more water. Eventually, and reluctantly, he agreed to experiment to see if it worked.
What I found interesting, is that someone with a scientific mind like my father, resisted such a simple solution to his problem. Of course, this could justifiably be attributed to his age, but I think he’s always been this way: stubborn in his belief, and resistant to change. The reason I know this, I am his daughter, and I too am stubborn in my beliefs. We all are.
Those cartoon aliens were right: Don’t mess with our food or what we believe.
Do you consider yourself open minded? We all think we are, even as we hold tight to our opinions and beliefs. But what if what we believe is limiting our growth? Closing us off to other possibilities and shutting down any alternatives? Leaving us standing, arms crossed, feeling smug and holier than thou, but utterly alone in our righteousness? Some of us would prefer to cut off our nose (just to spite our face) rather than question whether or not our belief system is still serving us. Heaven forbid, we might need to change our way of thinking!
Sometimes, changing something simple, like drinking more water, open us up to living a better life. All that is required is that we try something new and have a willingness to explore other options rather than continuing to do what we have always done. Sounds easy enough, right?
Taking a hard look at what we believe to be true requires great courage. It can challenge our very foundation of how we see ourselves in the world, and our relationship to others. Like open-mindedness, I think we all consider ourselves open to change, that is until change is required. Change brings us face to face with our deepest fear, the unknown. Even positive change can feel terrifying. Change happens, after all it is the only true constant, and it happens regardless if we are kicking and screaming or stepping up and embracing it.
The world is full of people who have resisted change and stubbornly stood their ground, defending their personal beliefs at great cost. They convince themselves all is well, that it is fine to simply survive, muddle through, as we always have. They will go to great lengths to prove themselves right, you wrong, and will work very hard to convince you all is well. But is it?
When I must make others wrong to prove myself right, it is time to rethink things. These stubborn beliefs are often our ego, resisting change at all costs. When we dig in our heels, up the ante of our position, we stop communication flow and are less likely to learn. We create a brick wall, completely stopping any further energy exchange. We sit, alone and closed off, wondering why we feel so miserable about life. Life need not be this way.
It is okay to challenge our beliefs, big and small. Ultimately, this is how we grow. When we stop considering, questioning and learning, we stop dead in our tracks. I think this is how my father has stayed mentally sharp and youthful, he has never lost his curiosity about the world and how it works. He asks questions. He manages to keep an open mind, balancing his knowledge and wisdom with learning new information.
Forget wrinkle cream, the secret to youth is curiosity, being open to continual learning. Learning, being interested in something new, moves us from simply surviving to thriving. We then become truly open minded when we are willing to learn.
Be willing to see life differently. Life gets interesting and ironically more colorful when we embrace the greyscale, avoiding the black and white absolutes of our belief systems. New and exciting possibilities lie around the corner of every new path we choose to take.
It all starts with being open to changing a belief – how we see ourselves, our place in the world and the world around us. By being open minded, we allow change into our lives at a comfortable pace. We can ask questions about things we know nothing about, after all, we do not know what we do not know. We can explore new thoughts and ideas, other possibilities. Some ideas may resonate and inspire you, other ideas will not, and you need not pursue them further, but keep an open mind. This path of curiosity may well be the fountain of youth.
That, and drinking more water!
